entertainment

Bob's Bibs a total disaster admits Holness

Friday, November 22, 2002

Aqua Bob surveys his latest business failure.

Aqua Bob surveys his latest business failure.

Bob Holness’ attempt to open a shop selling babies bibs has gone disastrously wrong.

Bob opened the first branch of 'Bob's Bibs' last week in Devon. Everything went fine until someone pointed out to him that he'd built the shop underwater.

"I don't know what I was thinking about there," an embarrassed Bob told friends. "It was a bit of a mistake on my part. I have these ideas and I don’t really think them through," a candid Holness admitted.

"If I'm honest I have a bit of trouble coping generally," he added.

Experts have criticised Holness for building the shop underwater, pointing out the accessibility problems for shoppers without scuba gear, especially those with disabilities.

Simon Jones of the FT says this is not the first time Holness has made an astonishing error of judgment in a business venture.

"Bob’s record in business is atrocious, you'd have though he would have learnt from the whole Bob's Hobs disaster,” Jones told us.

In 1992 Bob attempted to open his own prestige cooker firm inside the Earth's molten core. The shop melted after only 2 minutes. His other recent venture to bottle and sell his own trumps has also received widespread ridicule.

Holness is said to be 'gutted' by the latest failure and friends say Bob may now withdraw from the business world altogether and may even live full time under the sea as some strange kind of 'Aqua-Bob'.

Here are some of Bob’s other failed Business ventures:

  • Bob’s Jobs - Bob’s recruitment agency folded after only 12 seconds
  • Bob’s Bobs - Bob’s idea to hire Bob Holness look-alikes out to parties, bar mitzvahs and orgies failed because it was crap.
  • Bob’s Knobs - Bob’s novelty doorknob firm went bust after the bottom fell out of the knob business.
  • Bob’s Probs - Bob’s agony aunt phone line went out of business because Bob kept laughing at peoples problems.
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